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Tirop

Escapism Today

Posted on June 4, 2017

One thing is for sure, escapism is increasingly more accessible every day. “Entertainment” has become so accessible it is seemingly unavoidable. Technology has become so intertwined with everyday life one feels paralyzed without it. Unknowingly, I can find myself in escape numerous times a day. This could be through “checking” my phone or watching (“tuning out”) the latest buzz in entertainment. All the while, avoiding being embodied, here, now, and all of the reminders to this inner being, such as human connections, being in nature, and being in silence.

“The problems do not go away.”

According to the dictionary, escapism is defined as an activity or form of entertainment that allows people to forget about the real problems of life. Escapism is not necessarily negative. Occasionally it is helpful to have a break from the depressing conditions of life by tuning out to watch a movie or jam to some music; however, in many cases escapism can be detrimental to one’s well-being, because as one becomes reluctant to face life, what is avoided continues to mount in number and intensity. We have all, to different degrees, engaged in a bit of escapism and witnessed that the problems do not go away or fix themselves. We may even transfer responsibility of those problems to other people, but eventually a similar predicament will arise in the future.

“Avoiding creates the suffering itself.”

How does escapism begin to take shape? From my own personal experience I have seen that I indulge in escapism when I am avoiding being in this moment. This means that my relationship with the now is almost non-existent in these situations, culminating into suffering that I usually pegged onto the task or problem I was avoiding to face. When in actual fact the very avoiding creates the suffering itself, because it is the denial of what is. Putting it in that perspective shows how futile it is to escape what is, as the very act of escaping creates resistance and further pain.

“Escapism is sold to us as a normality.”

In today’s culture, escapism is sold to us as a normality. A human with a relationship with this moment is not lucrative to corporations. Therefore, from birth one is bombarded with a multitude of commercials, beliefs, and programs influencing how life is to be lived. The relationship one has with themselves and this present moment are never quite established. Much of what one is exposed to encourages being disembodied by externalizing their power. Consequently, by adulthood one is firmly a reliable consumer of this culture. Therefore, it is revolutionary when one chooses to be aware of one’s body. One effectively becomes a mindful, conscious creator of one’s life. Escapism slowly becomes an unused tool, as facing life now no longer appears daunting and avoidable. Instead life itself is savored with excitement to be part of all of its experiences. From this state one can face life without running away, realize what it is one truly wants to achieve, and effortlessly engage with what needs to be done.

Subtle Actions of Fear

Posted on April 20, 2017

According to Merriam-Webster, fear is an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. It may be argued that fear is a natural and necessary emotion that helps protect one from pain and injury, physically or emotionally. Sometimes this awareness of danger may be intuition, informing us of a wiser path. But what if there actually isn’t any impending danger at this moment? What if we are simply suffering from the recurring belief of looming danger? Many of us are living like this everyday.

Throughout the day you may discover, upon deeper observation, the “subtle” actions of fear that you engage in. These actions are expressions of powerlessness. I call them subtle because we mostly do them unconsciously, in a sort of autopilot mode. When we enter our autopilot mode, our conditioning and beliefs that we have mastered as reality take over. In this state, we repeat to ourselves through thoughts, words, and actions that we are indeed powerless, often translating into aches, pains and diseases in the body.

When we live in this constant powerlessness, we affirm to ourselves that we are separate from life and it is against our very existence. In this state we no longer trust in the flow of life. We forget that life is not a series of past events constantly repeating themselves, and consequently we leave ourselves stagnant through the power of our thoughts.

These states of fear commonly arise out of traumas, which most often occur in childhood. Sometimes the trauma is as subtle as being prevented from watching TV as a child and sometimes it is as explicit as being physically abused. This is why it is helpful to heal trauma as it comes up. And it comes up as a subtle action of fear.

Through practicing being embodied, I have become more aware of my subtle actions of fear. For example, when someone close to me suggests that I am mistaken, I tend to resist immediately. I am not sure how this began, but I know this resistance comes from the fear of being corrected, perhaps as I was corrected as a child. Another example is feeling unworthy of sharing my views, because I believe that I am inconveniencing others. This rose out of being told as a young boy that it was not my time to speak. I then developed the belief that my views are not worth listening to, and from that developed an acute timidness.

When we are children we generally do not have the tools, environment or support to process our difficult experiences. It is also possible that, despite having the tools and the knowhow, we do not want to process these difficult experiences and their resulting emotions. Therefore many of us are likely walking around feeling unworthy, distrustful, and in resistance to the now.

So I would like this blog post to serve as a reminder that you are worthy of being alive; that you can trust life because you are life; that life is fresh in every moment; and that life is embracing you already and all you have to do is sink into it.

Being in the body: My Transformative Experience

Posted on November 25, 2016

Around a year ago, I had a transformative experience. One that I had not consciously had before. It shifted how I approached life. It was the most important personal experience that I have ever had and I would like to share it with you.

I was feeling it and I wanted to avoid it. Lost in the emotional turmoil of rejection and abandonment. Convinced that this was “it;” I told myself that I was done trying. Meanwhile behind the rehashing of thoughts, I had the distinct feeling that it was all being watched. Some thing was watching it all, and I became aware that I was purposely repeating the thoughts and beliefs about myself in order to maintain this emotional state.

Who or what was aware of this? Was it the “real” me?

I wanted to keep the pain going. In what seemed twisted, I was feeding on my own pain. It was as if my pain was a bon fire and my thoughts were fuel. I felt embarrassed that I childishly wanted to sustain it. It was at that moment that I was faced with the choice: continue adding fuel to the pain, or feel the heartache without mental commentary. I was reluctant at first, but I chose to feel it without judgment. These words from Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, had began replaying in my mind:

Focus attention on the feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don’t think about it – don’t let the feeling turn into thinking. Don’t judge or analyze. Don’t make an identity for yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of “the one who observes,” the silent watcher. This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence. Then see what happens.

(The Power of Now, 1999).

I knew this was the infamous “pain-body” he often refers to. I will let him explain:

The pain-body is my term for the accumulation of old emotional pain that almost all people carry in their energy field. I see it as a semi-autonomous psychic entity. It consists of negative emotions that were not faced, accepted, and then let go in the moment they arose. These negative emotions leave a residue of emotional pain, which is stored in the cells of the body. There is also a collective human pain-body containing the pain suffered by countless human beings throughout history. The pain-body has a dormant stage and an active stage. Periodically it becomes activated, and when it does, it seeks more suffering to feed on. If you are not absolutely present, it takes over your mind and feeds on negative thinking as well as negative experiences such as drama in relationships. This is how it has been perpetuating itself throughout human history. Another way of describing the pain-body is this: the addiction to unhappiness.

(Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose).

The pain-body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, “become you,” and live through you. It needs to get its “food” through you. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness. So the pain-body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.

(The Power of Now, 1999).

I was unusually excited at this opportunity. This was a chance for me to actually experience a massive transformation in my state of being. Transforming from suffering to acceptance of what is. A complete detachment from the identification to thinking.

This simple methodology of watching the mind, that you have nothing to do with it…. Most of its thoughts are not yours but from your parents, your teachers, your friends, the books, the movies, the television, the newspapers. Just count how many thoughts are your own, and you will be surprised that not a single thought is your own. All are from other sources, all are borrowed – either dumped by others on you, or foolishly dumped by yourself upon yourself, but nothing is yours.

The mind is there, functioning like a computer; literally it is a bio-computer. You will not get identified with a computer. If the computer gets hot, you won’t get hot. If the computer gets angry and starts giving signals in four letter words, you will not be worried. You will see what is wrong, where something is wrong. But you remain detached.

(Osho & Khumal, 1998).

The mind does what it knows to do, it thinks. That is the job of the mind and it does it well. It is a reliable computer that never stops working. However, for most of my life I have heard all the thoughts stored in it as who I am and who I am supposed to be. This identification essentially extracts one out of the present moment.

The inner body is the gateway to the now

I began by feeling my hands without touching them. I felt the aliveness in them. I then expanded the feeling to the rest of my body, scanning every single atom of my being. Discovering the tension I held in my face and shoulders, I gently relaxed them. Meanwhile the mental chatter was non-existent. Focusing my attention on the body effectively transferred the excess of energy from my head to the rest of my body. The fuel was no longer being added to the fire and the result was a spontaneous experience of bliss. This, after only 2 minutes of feeling the inner body. In fact, the longer I remained in the body I began to realize that the feelings I had were the result of the identification to the thoughts I had about the situation. It was a relatively quick transformation, as it did not take the usual few months to subside. Several minutes later, I was in a completely different state of being: from intense anguish to complete peace and happiness. I was fully in the present moment. Feeling the inner body was the gateway to the now.

In this culture we usually learn to identify with the pain while ironically trying to avoid feeling it. Resulting in months or years of prolonged unnecessary suffering. I recall thinking that if more people experienced this inner transformation that it would change the very fabric of our society. Which would affect one’s relationship with their own being, their interactions with others, and the planet. Can you imagine how incredibly significant a conscious embodied human collective would be?

A few days after this experience I noticed how synchronized I was with life. The people around me approached me differently, so did I them. There was a lightness in how I interacted with people. Loving others became natural. It and every other positive virtue were simply byproducts of being embodied. It really is that simple.

J, K. (n.d.). Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. Retrieved November 22, 2016, from https:// www.eckharttolle.com/article/Awakening-Your-Spiritual-Lifes-Purpose

Osho, & Khumal, N. (1998). From Unconsciousness to consciousness: Answers to seekers on the path (2nd ed.). Pune, MS: Rebel.

Tolle, E. (1999). The power of now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment. Novato, CA: New World Library.

Exciting beginnings

Posted on November 10, 2016

Ndani with Tirop is born

As explained in the About Me page, Ndani is the Swahili word for “Inside” which I, Tirop, am using in the context of going within. So this website is a reflection of my inner journey. In coming up with the name of this project, with the dedicated help of my loving partner, I chose to make things unique to me. Swahili is the first language I learned aside from the usual gugu gaga we as babies speak, so honoring my roots and background were essential to expressing my authentic self.

I have had various blogs and outlets where I have shared my inner journey, but out of all of them, this website is exciting to share. This space feels like it is long overdue, while coming at the right time. It feels like it is just the beginning.

Beginnings

The year 2016 has been a forward moving year for me. I have achieved much of my personal goals and I feel wonderful about that. Sometime in early 2016 I read that this is the year of “making moves”, as in getting things done both individually and collectively. So as the year winds down I am seeing that to be the case.

Despite the gregorian calendar being linear and arguably unnatural, its relevance in our development somehow still remains a factor. I do not know if this is the case due to the large amount humans following it and thus creating a collective reality that makes turning a new year into a big deal. This is seen with the new year’s resolution phenomenon in western culture, where millions of people wait for a new year in order to make moves. As a participant in this culture, I unwittingly made a new years resolution. This was to clean up my space, which meant decluttering, letting go of what did not serve me, and simplifying every facet of my physical space. To put it shortly, I reclaimed my space.

Reclaiming my space

As Marie Kondo puts it in her popular book titled “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A Simple, Effective Way to Banish Clutter Forever,” I released many items that no longer sparked joy in my life. Things like decades old clothing, old documents from undergrad, or piles of expired products in my bathroom. Not only did I release what did not spark joy, but I affirmed what does. It is one thing to release what is no longer needed, and another to recognize (and appreciate) what we love. The result is an opening of fresh spaces for new projects and ideas.

This simple action certainly encouraged me to follow my purpose and work towards being of service. It is quite amazing how much being of service to oneself increasingly encourages one to be of service to the greater community. Once the stagnating blockages are seen and dissolved there is only moving forward. A simple task like releasing clothes that we hold on to for years without even wearing them have the effect of bringing clarity to the present. Once we establish our awareness in the present, a drive presumably from our soul pushes us to achieve what we have always wanted to do for ourselves and our community. .This is how this project, Ndani with Tirop, was conceived and here it is taking its first breath.

Will you be there for its first steps?

-Tirop